


Time Will Bring Us Back

by Annide



Series: 1998, or the year everything changed [12]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-08 08:39:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15926828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annide/pseuds/Annide
Summary: Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas' story: After months of fear and worry, Dean and Seamus are finally reunited. However, the war affected them in a way that will change them forever.





	1. Seamus

                Seamus knew Dean had a tough year. He actually spent every minute of the past months at school worrying about his boyfriend and whether or not he'd survive this war. He was unbelievably relieved to see him alive and well before the start of the Battle. Unable to refrain himself, he pulled Dean in his arms as soon as he arrived. He felt his boyfriend tense up a little at the gesture at first, then Dean seemed to relax into him. Seamus was concerned by the fact Dean wanted to fight despite not having a wand, but he could see his boyfriend was worried about him too. After all, Seamus was hard to recognize with all the bruises on his face, he seemed much worse off than Dean. If only appearances told the whole story, they would've looked much different.

                Seamus had more injuries and it took several weeks for his face to heal, but all of that was physical. By the time summer arrived, Seamus was back to his old self, no trace of the war left on him. Dean, however, was a completely different story. He may have appeared completely fine and not very hurt when he showed up for the Battle, but once again, that was all physical, all appearance. Dean's injuries were much less visible, and much more difficult to deal with.

                When they were first reunited, Seamus noticed the bags under Dean's eyes and how exhausted he looked, but he attributed it to a year spent on the run and didn't let it spoil the joy he felt of seeing him again after missing him so much. They got separated during the Battle, but every time he saw him, Dean was doing great. Seamus had no idea how he even got a wand, but he was very impressed by his boyfriend's skills. When the Battle ended and they were both still alive, Seamus thought they could be happy together finally. All of this horror was over and they could move on and forget about it all. It wasn't so easy.

                As they sat in the Great Hall with Aberforth, rejoicing in their victory, Seamus noticed that Dean was jumpy. He stopped everything and looked around nervously at every sudden noise. Seamus thought it was temporary, a thing that happened in the aftermath of being on the run for months, some fresh air and time away would take care of it. Seamus brought his boyfriend home to Ireland after assuring the Thomas family he would take care of him. Dean was safe now, and certainly that fear and nervousness would go away soon. It didn't.

                Dean didn't sleep. Seamus was often woken up a few hours after they'd gone to bed, by his boyfriend jumping up, in sweats from a nightmare he'd just had. Seamus tried to comfort him, tried to reassure him and help him go back to sleep, but nothing worked. He ended up spending his nights in the kitchen and Seamus was left in bed alone.

                Fred Weasley's funeral was held a week after the Battle. They had planned to attend, but Dean hadn't slept all week. He looked terrible, and was highly irritable. He clearly could barely handle himself and kept getting angry at everything, Seamus in particular. There was no way he could go anywhere near a crowd. He still wanted to go though. He kept repeating how he didn't want to let his friends down, that Luna needed him there, that he had to show support to his ex-girlfriend and that he hadn't seen Neville, Harry, Ron and Hermione in forever. In the end, Seamus had to stay home too to keep him company and make sure he wouldn't go and cause more pain to everyone in this difficult day.

                Dean sulked for days. He spent his days laying on the couch, barely eating. When Seamus got back from Remus and Tonks' funeral, he found a pile of unopened letters addressed to Dean hidden under their bed. Seamus had talked to Neville and Luna over the weekend so they knew what was going on now, but the fact his boyfriend closed himself off like this worried him. He didn't feel comfortable leaving him too long.

                Unfortunately, three weeks after the Battle, Seamus had to go back to Hogwarts for a whole week to take his N.E.W.T.s. His parents assured him they would take good care of Dean while he was gone. Dean couldn't go as he hadn't been able to attend classes all year.

                McGonagall assembled them all in the Transfiguration classroom to give them explanations on how the examinations would work, it turned out to be very similar to the way O.W.L.s did. The Great Hall was usually were exams were held, but it currently served as headquarters for the volunteers repairing the castle and they couldn't use it. However, with about a third of their class missing, they could easily do with smaller spaces.

                All of the muggleborns, like Hermione, had missed the school year and therefore couldn't take their exams yet. They would have to come back in September to do their seventh year if they wanted to take them. Harry and Ron had been given an exemption by Kingsley Shacklebolt and would be able to become Aurors without sitting their exams. Neville was given that option as well, but, as he wasn't interested in that particular career, he decided to try passing his N.E.W.T.s. Seamus was sharing their dormitory with only Neville and Charlie and it felt a little awkward. The other two boys had been staying there for weeks now and had clearly gotten used to being alone.

                In any way, Seamus was glad to have a friend going through this with him. Parvati was there as well, sitting with her sister among the other Ravenclaws. She seemed really sad, but that had to be because her best friend, Lavender, had just died three weeks ago. He recognized three Hufflepuffs from the D.A., Hannah, Susan and Ernie, and three Ravenclaws, Terry, Michael and Anthony. Of all the Slytherins, only two were missing, including Crabbe who had died during the Battle. In total, there were 26 students back for the examinations.

                "Those of you who fail can try again next year if you wish, that also goes for your fellow classmates who didn't join us today, but were here throughout the year to take classes." McGonagall started explaining how they would proceed.

                "Blaise, have you heard from Theo at all?" Draco Malfoy whispered.

                "Just send him an owl if you're so worried. I know he'd be relieved to hear from you." Goyle sounded exasperated.

                The Slytherins didn't appear as close-knitted a group as they used to be, though Seamus had no idea what had happened. However, it didn't stop them from commenting on Seamus' still badly bruised face, he was only starting to look recognisable, thanks to his mother's healing spells.

                Taking all of their N.E.W.T.s in only a week was very demanding and, by the end of it, they were all exhausted, but glad it was over. Seamus still stayed one more day so he could spend time with Neville and Charlie. He had missed just hanging out and having some fun. Sure, they worked on the repairs, but they had nothing to worry about and they laughed profusely while doing it. Charlie had left Hogwarts before they started and Seamus had only met him briefly before. He enjoyed getting to know him.

                "Seamus, you're back. How did it go?" Mrs Finnigan asked her son as soon as he stepped inside the house on Sunday morning.

                "Good, I think. How were things here?" Seamus threw a look toward the couch. He was both relieved and worried to see it empty. Dean not being on it could be an improvement, but the fact he wasn't here to greet Seamus wasn't a good sign.

                "I think you need to bring Dean back home to his family, maybe it would do him good. He needs help and we can't provide it. Sometimes I think St Mungo's might be the best place for him."

                "Did something happen?"

                "He keeps thinking people are after him. I know he's been on the run for months and had to constantly be vigilant, but he's safe now and instead of getting better, he's getting worse. He jumps up whenever someone knocks at the door. He went into a panic the other day when he couldn't find his wand, he made a huge mess of the house. Your boyfriend scares me, Seamus. I'm afraid if it keeps going like this, he might hurt someone, or himself."

                "So, you're kicking him out, are you?"

                 "No, he can stay as long as he wants. I'm only suggesting an option that might be better for him."

                "Alright. Where is he?"

                They were at Dean's home two days later. The whole family were happy to see them, and glad to finally meet Seamus, who they'd heard a lot about over the years. Of course, Dean didn't get better due to a simple change of scenery. He kept having nightmares and being jumpy constantly. He had gotten very irritable due to the lack of sleep as well. He had trouble sleeping at night, but got sleepy enough to manage it during the day sometimes. Dean was asleep one afternoon when his mother sat down at the kitchen table with Seamus.

                "How are you doing, Seamus?"

                "I'm fine, Mrs Thomas. Honestly, I'm a little tired, but I'm doing alright."

                "I see you trying to take care of my son, it can't have been easy on you."

                "It hasn't been, but I don't have a choice, I'm in love with him. But I don't know what to do anymore. He needs more help than I can give him. I don't want to have to bring him to St Mungo's, but I don't see any other options at this point. He hasn't gotten any better."

                "Have you considered trying muggle treatments? As far as I can see, he doesn't have anything magical. Looks more like PTSD to me."

                "What is that?"

                "Post-traumatic stress disorder. A lot of soldier who come back from war have it. Dean has been on the run for months trying to stay alive. It fits."

                "So, you think we should bring him to a muggle doctor?"

                "I do. I can call to make an appointment with ours if you want."

                "It would be great if you don't mind. I'm not really familiar with how the muggle world works. I've used a phone before, my dad's a muggle, but it would still be easier if you did it."

                "That's no problem. We both want the same thing. For Dean to get better."

                Seamus smiled and she left to make the call. Three weeks later, Dean had been diagnosed with PTSD, was on medication and was seeing a therapist. He still had trouble sleeping and was having nightmares, but his overall mood had improved. Seamus was relieved. They had found a way to help the man he loved. And while Dean still had a long way to go, and probably other meds to try before finding the one that suited him best, Seamus wasn't watching him get worse while feeling useless anymore.

                As June came to an end, so did Seamus and Dean's time together. Dean came up to him one afternoon and told him he needed some time on his own, that he needed to figure things out by himself. Seamus was taken aback. He had not expected that. He tried to convince Dean, they had been apart for so long and had been through so much, didn't they need each other more than ever? However, he realized this was a hard decision for Dean, who could barely say more without his voice cracking, and he decided to go with it. If it was what Dean wanted, what he needed to be happy again, then Seamus would leave. He would give Dean anything he asked for in the end.

                Seamus didn't know where to go from there. He went home, but beyond that he had no clue. He was lost. He had spent the past year worried to lose Dean, worried his boyfriend would die and his heart would be broken. And there he was, Dean alive and on track to get better, but he was heartbroken nonetheless. He hadn't been prepared for that.

                He spent a good part of July wallowing, growing lonely and frustrated. Everybody else was busy, and not in Ireland. He exchanged letters with several of his friends, though Dean didn't answer him any more than he had done anyone else so far, but it wasn't the same as being around people. He was also looking for a job, but it left him with quite a lot of free time. As days went by, his sadness softened, but his anger grew stronger. After everything he'd done, everything he'd gone through, how could he end up alone and so far away from his friends? The most painful part was the feeling that if he and Dean had never crossed that line into romance, they would probably still be hanging around each other, staying together through everything, because they were best friends and nothing could get between them.

                The first day of August, Seamus decided he had enough of being alone. And if he couldn't do anything about Dean not replying to letters, because he wanted time apart, nothing stopped Seamus from showing up at the Burrow to visit Ginny. They had hung out together a lot while she was dating Dean and they'd become good friends. He had stopped writing to her in May as he had a lot on his mind with Dean and the N.E.W.T.s, and she hadn't written back even once anyway.

                Mr and Mrs Weasley were surprised when they opened the door and saw Seamus standing there. They weren't expecting any visitors. It was clear they had hoped one of their sons would've finally come by, but they were still very nice and welcoming, like always happy to have any friends of their children over. It was Seamus' first time at the Burrow and it didn't look like he had thought it would, though the conflicting descriptions of it from Ron, who kept saying it wasn't much and mostly messy, and Harry, who told everyone repeatedly how awesome it was, made it hard to build a visual image. He found it to be quite cosy. There was a bit of a mess, yes, but it was more the kind that made you feel like people actually lived there, none of the artificial cleanliness you saw everywhere you were expected.

                "Hi, I'm Seamus, I go to school with Ron. Is Ginny here? I thought I'd stop by for a visit."

                "Oh, what a wonderful idea. Yes, she's in her room on the first floor. Some company will be great for her," Mrs Weasley said.

                Seamus thanked her and climbed the stairs up to the first floor. There was no answer when he knocked on the door, so he did again and asked if he could come in. He heard her jump up as she exclaimed, "Seamus?" then ran to the door to open it.

                "I didn't know you were coming."

                "Does that mean you actually open letters?"

                "I did, but no one writes me anymore, including you. I don't blame you though, must be annoying writing to someone and never getting an answer."

                They walked over to the bed and sat.

                "It mostly makes it hard to keep up a conversation. And it worried us. But I'm glad to know you at least read our letters, Dean left them all unopened on the floor."

                "Oh, I wondered why I hadn't received anything from him. Is he alright?"

                "He really worried me for a while, but he's doing better now. The muggles diagnosed him with a thing called Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. They have him on some medication and he goes to therapy."

                "Why didn't he come with you?"

                "He kind of broke up with me, said he needed time to deal with all this on his own."

                "Oh, I'm sorry."

                "Don't be, I'll be fine, as long as he's happy. You don't seem to be doing great though."

                "I've been struggling, but I'm getting a little better. I have a month to get myself back together enough for school, I'm working on it."

                "Yeah, I wish I still had Hogwarts to look forward to, at least I'd know what to do. I passed my N.E.W.T.s, but I'm not sure what kind of job I want. I applied to some and never heard back."

                "Um. Wait, I heard Bill mention Gringotts was looking for curse-breakers in Egypt. Several people stopped working there during the war and they're not all going back. I think you'd like that."

                "Curse-breaking, yeah, that sounds like something I'd enjoy. That's a great idea. Thanks, Ginny."

                "No problem, I'll write to my brother, he can put in a good word for you."

                Seamus stayed at the Burrow for two days hanging out with Ginny. None of the boys were there so there was plenty of empty beds. When he left, he wished good luck to Ginny for her apparating test and she wished him the same for the curse-breaker job.

                It took almost a month, but he got it. Seamus left Ireland at the end of August. He enjoyed Egypt and the work was exciting. Ginny knew him well, she had been right to think he would make a good curse-breaker. He had no idea why he had never thought of it before. There was nothing quite like the feeling of working on a curse for a while and finally breaking it, even better if something exploded in the process. He made new friends, had a few hook ups with guys. He didn't miss home at all, he only missed Dean.

                Seamus went back home for the holidays. He spent a few days with his family, then left on Christmas day. Harry and Draco had invited a whole bunch of people for dinner and he thought it would be nice to see everyone again before going back to Egypt. He arrived in the late afternoon. As soon as the door started to open, he could hear the sounds of laughter and conversation coming from the dining room. He entered and only then did he notice who had come to answer the doorbell. Dean was standing in front of him and he looked better than he had seen him in a long time. They hadn't seen or written to each other since Dean said he needed space. Seamus was glad to see him well enough to partake in a social gathering such as this.

                He smiled. He had missed Dean so much.


	2. Dean

                May was nearing its end and Dean didn't feel any better. The war was over, he wasn't being chased anymore and, yet, he still felt like he was. No matter how hard he tried not to, he stayed constantly on alert, jumping at every sudden sound, unable to sleep soundly. He often felt as though he had no control over himself. Seamus was away that week, he had gone to Hogwarts to take his N.E.W.T.s. Dean didn't mind. He actually thought some time away from him and all of his issues would do Seamus a lot of good.

                It was still early in the morning, Dean was forcing himself to eat some breakfast. It was already a better day than the previous one, when he had lost his wand and wreaked havoc in the house. He wasn't hungry, but if he couldn't do anything about the nightmares and insomnia, he could at least make sure he got some nutrition. Mr Finnigan joined him at the table and they sat together in silence for a while. Dean got up to put his dishes away and was about to leave the room, when Seamus' father finally talked.

                "You know, Dean, I don't think spending your days locked up inside this house will help. You should go out, get some fresh air. It's your first time in Ireland, isn't it?"

                "Yes," Dean said.

                "Then, you should take a walk, visit a little. It might make you feel a little better."

                Dean didn't think it was such a good idea at first. He was scared and panicked inside the house, how could going to explore the area end well? However, as he walked in the quiet morning, he realized it wasn't as bad as he would've thought. Moving felt good. He even ran for a few minutes, just to feel his legs almost giving out from the effort, and every grasp for air long and hard. He felt alive again. This walk reminded him of being on the run, always moving, never stopping for long for fear of being caught, but, unlike the nightmares, it didn't scare him. He wasn't a sitting duck, feeling almost trapped inside the house, waiting for someone to catch him. He was moving, and he was safe.

                He could've kept going all day like that, walking aimlessly, but he got hungry. Since he hadn't been in so long, he decided to stop at a small café to get himself a sandwich and some water. He almost dropped it all when he heard someone calling him from behind.

                "Dean Thomas?"

                Dean turned around and found that Slytherin boy in his year who mostly kept to himself.

                "Theodore Nott?"

                "Wow, I'm surprised you remember my name. Please, sit. I love catching up with people from Hogwarts."

                "But we weren't friends."

                "I know, but it doesn't mean we can't hang out, maybe become friends. We've all been through a lot."

                "I guess." Dean sat, a little confused.  "Shouldn't you be at Hogwarts right now? Seamus went to take his N.E.W.T.s."

                "I have other things on my mind. Besides, I can always take them next year."

                "I'm sure everyone there does too. Seamus almost didn't go because he's so worried about me."

                "What's wrong with you?"

                "I don't know really. Spending the last year on the run seems to have affected me. I'm always scared and I can't sleep." Dean was surprised how easily he was able to share that with Theodore. He hadn't found it in himself to write to his friends and explain how badly he was doing, but when that boy he barely knew asked, the truth came naturally. "What kind of things are on your mind?"

                "Well, among other things, my boyfriend was at the Battle and hasn't bothered letting me know he's alive yet."

                "Do you mean Malfoy? Because I saw him after the Battle, in the Great Hall, he survived."

                "I know he did, that's not the point. He hasn't given me any sign of life. Like he just assumed I'd find out. He can be so self-involved sometimes."

                "Did you go to his place to see him?"

                "Only once, I've been busy. And I'm sure he has been too, but is it really so much to ask for him to send me a letter saying 'hey, I'm alive, talk to you soon' or something?"

                "I guess not." Dean started noticing Theodore nervously looking through the window every few seconds. "You said you were busy, so what brings you to Ireland?"

                "Looking for my father. He's a Death Eater, so I assume he went to the Battle, but he isn't on the list of deaths and he never came home. He knows people around here, so I thought he could've fled and hidden with them."

                Dean felt uncomfortable all of a sudden. He had spent the last year running from Death Eaters and here he was having a conversation with the son of one of them. What if Theodore, his father or one of their friends decided to continue what You-Know-Who had started? Dean started shaking a little, it wasn't safe here.

                "Oh, I'm sorry, you're a muggleborn, right? I didn't mean to..." Theodore stopped mid sentence to look over his shoulder again. "The only reason I want to find him is because he's my only family. I know he's a bad man."

                "After everything, I have trouble feeling safe anywhere. You-Know-Who may be dead, but those of his Death Eaters who escaped Azkaban could try to take his place."

                "I'm really sorry about everything, I wish I would've been brave enough to do something. I knew all of this was wrong, but I just stood by and let it happen."

                "We can't all be heroes."

                "Says one of the heroes."

                Theodore smiled as he said so, but it didn't come off as confident and casual as he tried to make it. He appeared to share Dean's problem, staying in the same spot for a while made him anxious, like someone might find him. But why would the son of a Death Eater feel that way? Theodore had spent the year safe at Hogwarts. There was no reason for him to be afraid. Dean was about to ask about it when Theodore spoke again.

                "So, anyway, what about you? What brings you to Ireland?"

                "I'm staying with Seamus and his family. I feel bad, I'm not easy to be around these days. He's usually the bad-tempered one, but he's been taking care of me without a complaint."

                "He probably worried a lot about you the past few months. He must be so relieved to see you alive that he doesn't mind helping you get better. I wish my boyfriend was this caring."

                "I don't know Malfoy a lot, but I'm sure he cares about something."

                "Yes, himself. And Potter. I spent so much time at school listening to him ramble on about how much he hates that guy and he won't even bother telling me he's alive. One of his best friends died and the other wouldn't let him come to the funeral, but did he come to me to talk about how that made him feel? Of course not. He doesn't share his feelings with anyone, Malfoys keep it all inside."

                Theodore was angry and obviously only needed someone to talk to about all of this. It didn't sound like he was expecting a solution or anything, he just needed to vent.

                "He'll learn to share things with you eventually. If you show him he can trust you and keep telling him how you feel, I'm sure he'll end up doing it too."

                Dean actually liked being the one to hear someone's problems for once, instead of trying to deal with his own, unable to explain to Seamus what was going on. Was it possible Seamus felt the same way Theodore did sometimes?

                "Well, I wanted to talk to him about something important, and I really needed him to be there for me, but he's too busy to let his boyfriend know he's even alive. I even went to his place and waited for him a while, he never showed up. How am I supposed to know what happened at the Battle? Goyle wasn't exactly in the mood to discuss it at the funeral and we've never been close anyway."

                "I was there, I can tell you about it if you want. Well, I can try at least." Dean was afraid talking about the Battle might set off one of his panic attacks.

                "No, I want to hear about it from him." Theodore seemed to calm down. "You know what? When I get back to the UK, I'll go wait for him at Malfoy Manor and I won't leave until he comes back this time. When he finally does, I'll pretend I still had no idea whether he was dead or alive, I bet he won't even feel all that guilty."

                "If you think he cares so little about you, why are you staying with him?"

                "Because the heart is stupid and I can't stop loving him. And he's not always so bad, you know. We've known each other since we were kids. The war and everything with his parents and the Dark Lord being unhappy with his father were really hard on him. Draco used to be a much better boyfriend."

                "The war changed a lot of things."

                "Yeah. And maybe he has a good reason not to send a letter, maybe he's not doing well. I know he's alive, but I have no idea how he is. You, for example, don't strike me as someone who's been taking the time to write to anyone. With what you've said and how nervous you act, you're clearly not in great shape."

                "I'm not. Maybe you're right. Maybe Malfoy is struggling too. It wouldn't be so surprising, his family was pretty close to You-Know-Who. Anyway, I'd rather not talk about that too much, brings back bad memories."

                "I can imagine. Talking of which, I should be going. I don't like to stay in the same place too long. Besides, I have to finish looking for my father over here if I want to get back home to my boyfriend, if he's even still alive." Theodore laughed at his own joke. "Goodbye, new friend, I hope we'll see each other again soon."

                Theodore left. Once outside, he turned around and smiled before he disapparated. Dean suddenly felt the need to go back to the house. For some reason, he had felt safe sitting there with Theodore, despite how he anxiously kept looking over his shoulder. It was as though the presence of another person experiencing the same fear he did calmed him down, but it was over now. Theodore was gone and Dean couldn't explain to himself what happened. He had just spent time having a friendly conversation with the son of a Death Eater as though there was nothing abnormal about the situation. Nothing was the same since the end of the war and Dean had trouble grounding himself into this new reality.

                Dean never saw Theodore again. Barely over a week later, he was murdered in Diagon Alley. Whatever Theodore had been afraid of might have been more real than Dean had thought. He was tempted to go to the funeral, but there was no way he could've handled being around all those Slytherin kids and ex Death Eater parents.

                Dean was now back home with his family and Seamus. When they suggested that he consult a muggle doctor, he didn't argue. Maybe they were right, maybe he had a problem muggles were more equipped to handle than wizards. He felt so exhausted and afraid all the time. He hated that so much. Sometimes, he wanted to do stuff so badly, like go to a funeral or write back to his friends, but there was this unexplainable wall in his mind stopping him from doing any of those things. He would do anything if it could help him.

                It turned out his mother and Seamus had been right. Dean was diagnosed with PTSD and put on medication. He also started seeing a therapist. June was a big month. A month that brought answers, that allowed him to finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. He was so grateful for Seamus being there for him this whole time, for bringing him back to his family, for convincing him to seek help outside of the wizarding world. Seamus never left and Dean loved him so much for that.

                It was about the middle of the month when she brought it up for the first time. Going their own ways. His therapist knew how much Dean loved Seamus, and how much Seamus had helped him, but she believed he had been relying too much on his boyfriend and it wasn't good for any of them. Things were different than when they got together. They had both been through a lot the past year, apart from each other. And they had changed, they weren't the same people they were a year before. Dean didn't like it at all. He didn't want Seamus to go anywhere. She changed the subject.

                She went back to the idea the following week, knowing it had time to brew in Dean's mind. He was more receptive to it. He had thought about it a lot. At first because he hated it and was trying to understand why she could possibly suggest something like that, then he started to see her point. She made it again. The events of the past year had changed both Dean and Seamus. They had both been affected in different ways. They had survived and still loved each other a lot, but if they wanted their relationship to last through the years, they needed time to heal. They needed time apart to learn who they were now, how deeply the war had changed them and who they wanted to become. Dean had no idea what he wanted to do with his life now and, as far as he knew, neither did Seamus. His therapist believed they needed to figure it all out alone. She thought he needed to be on his own for a while so he could stop leaning on Seamus and could learn to face life without fear stopping him again.

                They didn't do much talking the week after that. Dean had just broken up with Seamus. His boyfriend had gone back to Ireland and he missed him a lot. He started crying while telling her about it and how hard it was to tell Seamus he needed time apart. He couldn't stop. Breaking up with Seamus hurt more than he would've imagined. He knew somewhere inside that it was for the best and that they would find a way back to each other eventually, but, at this particular moment, all he felt was pain.

                Dean eventually settled into a routine. His therapist suggested he spent time with a friend, maybe one who experienced hardships as well, maybe shared some of his. Dean first thought of those he spent all those months on the run with, but Ted, Dirk and Gornuk were dead and Griphook was busy back at work in Gringotts. Then he thought of Malfoy Manor and Shell Cottage. He actually apparated near Luna's home, then couldn't get himself to walk up that hill to see her. Not after all this time ignoring her letters. So he went to Ollivander's. Garrick was delighted to see him, he didn't mind Dean hanging around while he worked.

                At first, Dean watched Ollivander work for hours, sometimes occasionally exchanging a few words with him. However, as days went by, he started asking questions about what he was doing. Ollivander smiled every time Dean showed interest in wand making. He never had children and had often wished he could teach the art of wandcraft to someone the way his own father had taught him. He finally had his chance with Dean. Because if Ollivander had learned one thing from the events of the past year, it was that he was an old man who wouldn't be around forever. His knowledge needed to be passed on and he had a willing student by his side.

                Dean enjoyed learning wand making. He liked figuring out what effect different combinations of wood and core had. It was quiet and peaceful work, and it felt important. He also got to use his talent to draw, and learned wood carving. By the end of September, they had found a good rhythm. Dean designed the wands and carved the woods while Ollivander took care of the cores. They spent their days making wands and serving customers. In the evening, Ollivander taught Dean everything he knew about wandlore. Their hope was that one day, hopefully in a far away future, Dean would be a great wandmaker, worthy of the Ollivander legacy, who could take over the business and carry it on beyond Ollivander's life.

                Months went by and Dean had gotten himself back together. He would obviously never be completely healed of PTSD, but he felt like he had a handle on it now. He enjoyed his work and was looking forward to spending the rest of his life doing it. He started writing to his friends again, happy to learn what they had all been up to. He couldn't get himself to write to Seamus though. He wished he could simply see him again and talk to him in person. However, he learned through others that his ex boyfriend had moved away to Egypt. He was glad Seamus had also figured things out for himself. It seemed his therapist had been right, going their own way had been beneficial for both of them.

                On Christmas day, Dean accepted an invitation to dinner from Harry. He presented his condolences to Draco as soon as he arrived. It had been a long time since Theodore's death, but they hadn't seen each other all this time.

                Everyone was so cheerful that day. This year had been the hardest of their lives, but they had made it through and now was time to celebrate. It was strange at first to see Harry and Draco together, as a good parenting team. Dean could easily see them becoming a couple in the future. Harry had his hands full preparing dinner and Draco was in the middle of changing Teddy's diaper when the doorbell rang late in the afternoon. Dean offered to go. In all honesty, he wasn't used to being around this many people and he gladly welcomed the excuse to get away for a short while.

                He opened the door to discover Seamus on the other side. He had no idea he would be there, but he sure was pleased to see him. Seamus looked happy. A rush of emotions overcame Dean, a mix of happiness, relief and guilt. Before he realized what he was doing, Dean put his arms around Seamus and locked him into a hug. They stayed there in each other's arms, not saying a word for what seemed like forever before they pulled away.

                "Hi." Dean said.

                "Hi. You seem better."

                "I am."

                "I'm a curse-breaker now, I don't know if you've heard."

                "I did. I'm learning wandlore. Ollivander thinks I could carry on his legacy one day. I doubt I'll ever get that good."

                "Oh, I believe you can achieve whatever you set your mind to. You've overcome so much."

                "I'm sorry, Seamus, I never wanted to hurt you." Despite Dean's best efforts, tears escaped his eyes.

                "You know, I think you were right. It really hurt at first, but, in the end, we did need this time."

                "I missed you."

                "I really missed you too."

                "I know there's a lot to figure out and we should probably get reacquainted first, but I think the fact we came back to each other like this means something. I still love you, Seamus. Will you marry me?"

                Now Seamus was the one with tears in his eyes as he grabbed Dean's head and kissed him as if to make up for all the kisses they didn't share while they were apart.

                "So, is that a yes?"

                "Of course it's a yes. I never thought you would be the one to propose, but I couldn't be happier."

                They shared another kiss and walked away hand in hand to join the others. Months earlier, they never would've believed they could ever be this happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Theodore Nott's story is told in reverse and split through parts 2, 12, 14 and 17.


End file.
